blessed be these broken bones

July 21, 2010 § Leave a comment

…and i can’t help but think i am somehow flawed.
try as i might, i have failed, again.
a trail of destruction lies in my wake.

tomorrow, tomorrow, there’s always tomorrow…

i’d give up hope in a heartbeat
if it weren’t the only thing
keeping this black heart bleeding
all over my sleeve.
that’s my nature fighting my nurture talking,
don’t mind me.
it is very hard to parent three
when you’re only still a child
yourself.

patience,
breathe deep,
let it go.

flaws make us human,
and humanity is a beautiful thing,
so long as the divinity in me
bows to the divinity in you.

bless you.

Truth is Free

July 10, 2010 § Leave a comment

I am angry, disconnected from my real life
in favor of an internalnet one.

I, now, you – we are at odds.
Life is always a gamble
and we lost this hand,
but that’s okay.
“Better luck next time,”
they always say.

The difference is you are eager to quit,
and me? I can’t wait to see
which hand I will be dealt next.
Win or lose,
I’ll make the most of it.
As long as I’m playing
I’m having fun.

Sure, we’re down and out right now,
but if we don’t stick around
and wait it out,
all chances of hitting the jackpot
are called off.
“You can’t win if you don’t play,”
they always say.

My heart is open,
I give and receive love fully and freely –
I love, and I am love.

I still get angry,
I still get sad, and even depressed.
Self-pity is an easy drug to come by.

The wind sings when it rides the waves,
we should all be so brave.

I’ve told a lot of lies in my day,
and maybe the biggest one –
the one I cling to the most
to shape my persona
and give my ego that firm sense
of entitlement and smugness –
is the lie that I have no regrets.
(I see now that regrets have their place,
as they teach a healthy sense of remorse.)
It is true that I don’t have many regrets,
but a few skeletons lurk back here…

Once upon a time I shared a locker
with a human skeleton,
and I still remember how it feels
to have those ribs
pressed into my back.
I couldn’t move,
but I wasn’t afraid:
I accepted the lack of space
and the darkness.

I jumped off a thirty foot high cliff
into a lake
and I have a scar on my right leg
to remember it.
Life is the best tattoo artist of them all.

I birthed a baby boy
naturally
with no medication.
I labored for two days,
I pushed for three hours,
I worked harder than ever before in my life
to give somebody else
a life all their own.

These are some of my truths.
I have more, many more,
to recall for empowering
jolts of encouragement
that I do have a path
and a purpose on this planet
and damn it! I can do whatever the hell I please,
so fuck you if you dare to tell me otherwise.
(Yes, I’m talking to you,
oh Lizard Brain.
Get out of my way, now!)

So, back to the lies
on the flip-side,
well, what can I say?
What do I regret?

I suppose, not doing more.

I am capable.
I am strong.
I am compelled.
I am stunning.

Go for the delicious,
give everything and everybody
one-hundred-motherfucking-percent.

If you don’t do it,
who else will?

We must, we must, we must
increase our trust
in ourselves and our big dreams
and our one singular mission
we were meant to achieve.

Believe, breathe, and be.
That is the key.
Truth is free.

night-night

June 29, 2010 § Leave a comment

little body
hugs mine:
sleeping baby
trusts mama
with everything.
tears forgotten,
stress melted
with milk,
clean slate
for dreams
and tomorrow.
“just right”
means this,
true love.

tired

June 23, 2010 § Leave a comment

drained
out my eyes
heavy-lidded
looking for sleep.
dragging along
for work with no purpose.
heavy machinery
puts me to sleep.
why am i doing this?
what is the purpose?
i’ve been doing plenty,
and what products result
but tired?
nothing lasting.
folded laundry to be dirtied,
washed, and folded once more.
washed dishes,
if we are granted other meals,
will need to be washed
tomorrow
and the next day,
and on.
tuesday’s gone,
binary blurred
into background noise,
where is the joy?
in sleep.
crumbs to be swept of the floor
once more.
it’s got to be the heat.

transit

June 22, 2010 § Leave a comment

i don’t have anything inside,
it’s all white light.
i don’t have anything outside,
it’s all in transit.

bounty hunter-gatherer

June 20, 2010 § Leave a comment

drop little seeds here and there,
come back to water when you remember,
or,
wait for the rain.
the good one’s will grow,
they always grow,
and with much patience
and quiet admiration
the flowers will bloom.
when the fruit sags branches
and nearly falls to the ground,
therein lies the reward
for a passerby.
lord knows i’ve
had my share
of the bounties laid
by hands not my own.
palms up,
let’s chant grace
to the sun and moon.

the painter

June 18, 2010 § Leave a comment

up the ladder he goes,
brush and can in hand,
“write me a poem,”
he says,
while painting the wall.

he doesn’t know
– it’s my big secret –
that he is my poem.
he’s my painter, my muse,
my life-giving bread.
he sustains me,
supports and nourishes me.
most of all,
he brings the love.

without this
i do have doubts
my words would lack the sweets
imparted by these rose-colored glasses
i get to wear.

“and what’s he got to do with the glasses?”
you ask.

fair and true, here is your answer:
it is only that i asked a bold question myself,
and he is who answered the call.
i think if he hadn’t
i would be peering at life through a fouler lens.
i can’t say for certain,
but i know what happened
was for real,
and that’s what counts.

he climbs up the ladder,
blessings in hand,
“write me a poem,”
he sings,
while painting my soul.

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  • About

    Hi, I'm Q, I'm the dreamer here, and I'm holding space for you to learn to hold your own. My philosophy on life is that you should always go for the delicious and give everything one-hundred percent. Writing is like breathing to me - this is my place for occasionally-poetic-stream-of-consciousness illiterature. I'm here to wear holes in the soles of your soul, so get in, let's roll!

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